I wish I would stop having to start all my entries like that, but…yes, it has been some time since I blogged.

I had hoped that 2017 would end with good news but nope, it was not to be. So fast forward to April and yes! We finally have good news! Not sure if it’s because this is the second round or I really don’t have time to think as I have to settle Emilee’s everyday needs, I just go about doing things like normal. That was until the night before Mother’s Day.

I had put Emilee to bed and had gone to lie down for a while because of all times, the wave of nausea decided to visit me at that hour. After a while, I had decided to go about my usual routine of washing up, sat down on the loo to pee and there it was. Significant brown spotting. Not going to post any pictures of it lest I gross someone out but yea, it was a good amount to set of the alarm bells. I wiped and really willed myself not to see fresh blood for that would spell doom. Quickly messaged a close loved one who has gone through the M word. Sometimes before I get my period, I get this kind of brown spotting so I was really worried now. My first appointment is scheduled at the end of the month so I really have no clue as to what is going on inside.

After a few calls, we decided to go down to SGH A&E. On the way there, my mind was in a blur. I really didn’t know how to feel. A part of me started to wonder if I was really pregnant. But I tested at least five times this time around and three returned positive. Was it all just a lie? Was there some bigger problem that I had no idea about? A part of me blamed myself for announcing it earlier. Had I jinxed myself? And a part of me was just…scared.

We waited for almost three hours before the A&E doctor saw me. He had a mobile ultrasound machine with him. First thing he did was to confirm that I was indeed pregnant. He did a quick scan and then called the resident gynae. I still recall the words he said: “There’s a fetal sac but I don’t see the fetus and there’s no fetal movement.” By then I was weirdly calm, so when the nurse hurriedly told me that it’s too early in the pregnancy to see something with the over belly scan, I only smiled at her and said: “Yea, I know.” I had to have an insert-in-body scan to “see” Emilee at 8 weeks, what more at 6+ weeks.

So I was whisked off to the labour ward for a proper ultrasound scan. That’s when I “saw” baby #2. Thankfully, all was fine. Baby #2 already had a heartbeat! Resident gynae (who is a mumbler…yea, I can’t tahan mumblers) termed my spotting incident as “threatened M” and said that the incident just puts me at higher risk of the M word. He then proceeded to give me the usual talk on how the M word is very common and it happens probably because of chromosomal abnormalities. I was prescribed some progesterone pills and some antibiotics. The antibiotics were for another problem. Apparently the A&E doctor found a high amount of white blood cells in my pee sample so he was wondering if I was about to get an infection or something.

My first appointment was my own gynae will be in two weeks time but at least I can now breathe a sigh of relief. No more carrying Emilee for the time being. A bit hard as she sometimes wants only me to carry her. We’ve resorted to lying to her that mummy isn’t feeling well and doctor says mummy cannot carry heavy loads at the moment. We’ll break the news of a sibling a little later when the pregnancy is in a more stable state.