About a month back, I had this emo moment that made me want to write this entry but time was just not on my side.
It was night and Emilee had just fallen asleep. As I lay in the cool darkness of her room, scrolling through my Facebook and Instagram feeds, I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness whenever I came across pictures of my friends’ kids. Those thick thighs and arms. Emilee never had them. While I am not a big fan of Michelin thighs, it didn’t mean that I wanted my baby to be so lean and small. It did not help that people would gush about another baby’s “well-fed” thick thighs and arms.
What did I do wrong? As much as I told myself and others that it doesn’t matter if she’s small, she’s active and healthy, I couldn’t help but feel guilty every time someone guessed her age wrongly. I remember trying to up her feeds so she would put on some weight. Why is everyone else’s kid growing so big while mine is so lean?
The guilt is real. I guess my point is all mamas will experience this guilt some point in their life for whatever reason.
On the contrary, today I look at my girl and I think to myself, wow, she has put on quite some weight. Her face is definitely rounder.