Was inspired to write this entry after seeing a discussion of how some mummies’ hubbies put stress on their kids (especially the first borns) due to expectations.
I think the first borns always have it the worst. First-time parents trying to learn to handle a child and having all sorts of worries, it’s only natural that some anxiety is passed down to the child. We all have expectations of our children — at the very least that they grow up with manners and kindness in their hearts, that they grow up wise and become successful people in their own lives. As a first-time parent, I too, often question myself whether I’m doing things right or am I just a lousy mother.
I admit that I have very little patience. Many a time, my hubby has to remind me that I was a tad too harsh when disciplining Emilee. It is during these times that I suddenly realise that my thoughts and actions mirror my mother’s. My mum was very strict when bringing my sister and me up. She was the no nonsense type with the cane as her best friend. You don’t throw a tantrum in public or run behind someone for cover else you’ll get it doubly hard. That was how I learnt my manners and goodness and frankly speaking, I turned out fine. I did, however, vow that I would not be as harsh as my mum had been. Every request was almost met with a ‘no’. NO staying over at class chalets, NO staying out late with friends, NO this, NO that. Gosh, how I treasured my freedom when I was in the States for college. But that’s a story for another time.
My point is: our children look up to us, parents, as role models. They will note, learn and remember our ways. Therefore, we must be extra careful to be as great an example of parents we can be, for they will bring these life lessons to their own time as parents. Of course, I know that it is easier said than done. I myself, am still learning to hold my tongue and not lash out at Emilee at many times. I guess the most important thing is to always keep in mind that in a way, our children are an extension of us.